Lofty Goals

One of the perks of working in higher education is that (per your contract) you have a pretty nice holiday schedule. As I worked through this extremely front heavy semester, I kept my eye on the prize: Christmas Break. I dreamnt of Great Lake’s Christmas Ale, the smell of our fresh cut Christmas Tree, the soft glow of Christmas lights on my banister outside of our bedroom. I began listening to WHAMS! Last Christmas in October. My son and I watched The Grinch literally like every single day.

All of those warm thoughts of Christmas break kept me diligently pushing forward. As break neared, I prepped a mental list of “to-do” items. It went something like:

  • Re-paint pine trim Polar White where it is turning brown (the cons of painting pine)
  • Clean out all traces of maternity and postpartum wardrobe, newborn baby clothes/ toys
  • Schedule truck detail appoinment (my birthday gift from my husband that I have yet to use)
  • Work on marketing materials (work related and super LOFTY of me)
  • Do some DIY arts and crafts with my son
  • Make homemade meals as much as possible
  • Get back into Ketosis and work out…lose the last of the baby weight.

What I didn’t know at the genesis of this list was that: My entire family, self included, was going to be sick for ALL of break. Yup. I actually get depressed just thinking about how much time I spent sitting on my couch. Daily I have had to remind myself: Clarissa you are in the right place. You are taking care of yourself and your son. It doesn’t matter if you do anything else. Something magical happened these past 2 weeks. My son and I grew closer like in the beginning. Sometimes he would just say to me, “Mumma?” and I would answer, “Yes, baybee?” and he would merely be checking in; sitting with me even in my sick state has been completely comforting and wonderful to him.

So what did I accomplish over this break?

  • Administered albuterol, via spacer and inhaler, to my son every 4 hours throughout the daytime
  • Baked 5 PERFECT pumpkin rolls (with age comes perfection…and the longer I’m on this earth the better I get at both baking and cooking)
  • Drove my Grandma home for Christmas in the thickest fog I have EVER encountered
  • Made an incredibly delectable homemade chicken noodle soup that had thee best herbal flavors (rosemary, thyme and parsley)
  • Lifted legs twice, shoulders (who knows how many times), done several hours of cardio ALL TO GAIN 5 LBS
  • Created a DIY sensory activity for my son
  • Baked several breakfast casseroles
  • Drank an absurd amount of coffee
  • Shampooed and scrubbed our carpets
  • Took our son to see Santa and then out to dinner
  • Took our son to the Zoo and fed a giraffe
  • Took our son to the playground for the first time

Lately I’ve been wrestling with this idea that I’m now in a space where I feel like saying “I’m too old for this or that” while simultaneously feeling like the young person.

Tonight I was prepping my pork and sauer kraut, and I dug into my fridge for a bottle of beer. I excitedly remembered that I had a brand new bottle opener from Sandbridge, VA and like a REAL adult I could pop the lid off of this bottle of beer. When I went to open the bottle, I realized that my beer mug/bottle opener/ magnet must be defective because I couldn’t work it. And then I realized: No Clarissa, you’re just an old boring lady who doesn’t know how to drink.

Once the beer was opened, I poured a little in my crock pot, a few sips in my mouth and then passed it to my Netflix-ing husband in the living room. He had a few sips and then offered it to me. And thats when I realized: WE ARE BOTH OLD AND LAME! Haha. Seriously, what people share half a beer (actually less than that because the pork loin drank some too)? Guess we do.

So whatever this new half-old stage of life I’m in is…I guess I’m ready? This is the first time in my life where I am so content that drafting a new years resolution seemed meaningless to me. But then– it hit me.

My New Year’s resolution is: to age gracefully.

Happy New Year!


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