Tomorrow it is back to the R E A L world.
The new Ann Taylor suits are purchased. I’m down 11 lbs., thanks to keto. My back seems to be healing well. Rhett is turning 1 (insert healthy coping skills). Gary and I are back to being frisky dorks that love and laugh A LOT. So rather than allowing the Sunday Scaries to get me I thought I’d hop on do a list of things that I have been thinking about.
- It is often the most self-critical people that are the most judgmental. Read that again. Let it sink in. I am HYPER critical of myself. Pretty much anyone that lands at an ivy-league is. And pretty much a large majority of those people are also medicated for depression and anxiety. I’ve seen it.
Well folks, here is the thing… if we are that hard on ourselves, just think about how hard we potentially could be on others. I’m learning to really think about my actions and feelings and understand where they are coming from. I need to EASE up sometimes. So ya see, outside of work I am a messy-haired, vintage t-shirt wearing, cursing, authentic, loyal as fuck wife/mom. But at work, I am a put together human who is surrounded by PhDs. It almost makes me a little neurotic.
But wait…where are you going with this Clarissa?!
I guess I just want to say [type] that if I have come off as hyper-critical of you or someone else…I am so sorry! In reality, it was probably the hyper-critical voice in my head, that I hear, on the daily correcting my errors, projected outward.
2. Keto works.
I’ve lost 11 lbs. and I am very close to my pre-pregnancy weight. Some people hate on keto, and that’s fine. They immediately discuss how unhealthy it is. But you know what else is unhealthy?
Staring at our cellphones.
Even worse, staring at our cell phones in the presence of our loved ones.
Eating fast food.
Added pressure on bones that you are trying to heal.
Catch my drift? This is working for me. My lifestyle is like 80% sedentary right now. If I want to eat under 20 net carbs a day, let me.
If I want to intermittent fast let me. And let me tell you IF (intermittent fasting) is not just about losing weight. For me, the added bonus of mental clarity is rewarding. There is a reason why some of my favorite minds fasted. There is high that comes with it, that I happen to enjoy.
Also, the confidence boost of losing a little weight. It’s incredible, just ask my husband!
3. Boundaries are important.
I am technically not on the clock, but my email is always on. This means if I wanted to, I could work my “off” days away. Instead, I threw up the “out-of-office” email signature. I still went in to work to check my fax machine for confidential documents, answers parents questions etc. I attended a few business meetings. I also checked in with my superior. I am very fortunate to report to someone who respects “time off”. Nonetheless, I have felt this crazy anxiety about how much needs done. But you know what, my family really appreciates that I am present with them. Rhett doesn’t quite know it yet, but I know he loves spending time with his Mumma. Also, like how fucked up is it that work takes precedence in our lives? I get it. We gotta’ do it. We have to keep the lights on. But, if I am really going to talk to students about “leading lives of meaning and purpose” I really need to talk to students about their roles outside of work. Ol’ Marty Luther’s doctrine on vocation makes sense to me. Pretty much, whatever you are– be a good one. Be a good Mom. A good son. A good neighbor. Work should not be your WHOLE identity. I don’t think that’s healthy.
Being a Mom is my most important vocation and it is a sacred one that is worth a few criticisms at work.
Hmmm Clarissa isn’t answering her emails immediately like she used to. Wonder if she is ACTUALLY taking a break, recovering and spending time with her family?!
It’s fine. Right?! That’s what I’m telling myself. Tomorrow I will handle all loose ends when I’m back on the clock.
4. We are getting old[er].
Yikes. We now attend weddings as ye ol’ married couple. Unfortunately we are old enough now that we will see our parents age while we watch our son grow. We will laugh at each other’s gray hair and who has more? But most importantly, as long as God allows it, we will have each other to lean on through this next stage of life.
We are old enough now to re-think snowboarding trips…they get a bit more conservative each year…kind of like my swimwear!
Yet, at the same time, I’m wearing so much body/shimmer/oil that I am high vis. in lastnight’s flash photography cell phone pics! LOL
HELLO MID-LIFE CRISIS.
But seriously, if my mid-life crisis is showing up as appreciating Bath and Body Works scents and shimmer body oil… I think we are safe.
5. We are in the club, the parenthood club.
Becoming parents has been so cool! We look at other parents and are like okay, we see you. We know what you are going through. We are here for you.
We rolled up to our friend’s swimming pool with Rhett’s stroller full of Rhett’s things, but no Rhett. Our Dad friend was like,
“Oh yeah, that’s THEE stroller. Mhm. We used to do that.”
I look at other Mom’s with so much empathy and love. We go through some fast changes through the whole maternity process. There is nothing better than the silent, mutual, understanding between two women who are mothers.
When you encounter another new Mom you encounter the most beautiful, quiet, humble, love there is. You see a reflection of yourself that is sacrifice. Moms are the unsung heroes. And that’s okay. Becoming a Mom is fulfilling the most sacred job known to (wo)MAN. We don’t need parades, trophies or badges. Just being a mother is enough.
Well, that’s it for now. I’m off for one last time on the lake, with my family, before life gets more serious.