In the Spring I purchased two Fiddle Leaf Figs from Home Depot. They were my dream houseplant. Though I was nervous to buy them, after reading blog entry after blog entry about their level of difficulty, I could not pass them up.

One day I wobbled into Home Depot with my back brace on. This was my first trip alone post back surgery. I was searching for pampas grass to plant along our patio for a natural barrier to keep both my son out of our driveway as well as passerbys’ eyes from staring at us on our patio. Like many of my shopping trips go– I went to the store with a mission, but left with something completely different from said mission. Most often, this happens to me at Aldi.

Hence the spontaneous purchases of: Cold brew pitcher, patio lights, mandala beach towels, 5-layer muslin baby blanket, cosmetic organizers etc.

While wobbling around HD, something caught my eye.

$29.99 Ficus Lyrata

What?! The elusive and luxurious Fiddle Leaf Fig is in front of me at THIS price point?!

Normally a Ficus Lyrata can run somewhere closer to $100.00. I knew right then and there that I had to break the rules of my BLT (lingo for bending/lifting/twisting restrictions) and pick up two of these lovely plants for my home. Why two? Because I already knew that only one would survive. Right?! They are afterall so difficult to care for.

In addition to the Fiddles, I purchased pots to set them in and cute, wooden, wheeled platforms for me to kick them around because of well… BLT.

I arrived home and my husband just shook his head at me from the barn yard.

“Hunny look! They are Fiddle Leaf Figs! They were on sale! Can you help me get them in the house?”

“Everything is always on sale,” Gary replied with a grin.

He could see that I was extremely happy. After all, when one is recovering from back surgery, there isn’t much to do. But I knew that I could care for some house plants. Gary knew this too.

Day 1 of my Fiddle Leaf Fig experience.

I immediately placed them to an eastern facing window (which is not recommended). Yet, this was the best spot for them in my house. Although, I often have to remind Gary that he is not allowed to bump them with the computer chair. They are fragile. When a leaf is damaged, it will not grow another back.

As I have eluded to, I went into this with failing expectations. Well, here are my Fiddles today!

Week 9 of my Fiddle experience. S U C C E S S.

I have to say, that I have been pleasantly surprised. I water the one once a week (the taller one), and the other a little bit less. My shorter Fiddle has a drainage problem, and the soil tends to stay wet a little too long.

If you would like some tips from a professional house plant grower, check out one of my favorite Youtube sensations. I could listen to this guy all day. He has soul…about plants!

Growing Ficus Lyratas in my house has been fun. Sometimes I push them into Rhett’s nursery and turn the heat on. Sometimes my husband carries them outside for me so that they can soak up the scarce hot, sunny days in Western Pennsylvania. But like any other success, this has taken consistency and patience.

Isn’t it odd how something as simple as growing a plant can be so i n s p i r i n g ?! Well, ever since I did thee unthinkable ( you guys I kept not just one but TWO freaking fiddle leaf figs ALIVE) I have been crushing my goals.

My fiddle purchase inspired me to obtain 2 indoor vines, 2 petunia baskets and 4 pampas grasses. All of which are growing. Though, due to the rain the arid loving pampas grass are a bit behind.

Getting closer to nature had been a much needed reminder, in an INFORMATION NOW society, that good things take time. I recently revisited Terance McKenna’s book Food of The Gods, a book about nature, altered states of consciousness and evolution. How appropriate– to be reading a book authored by a “philosopher, enthnobotanist and psychonaut” while I journeyed through my own mind/body problems in the company of good plants.

I’ll do my best not to get too heady here, but for those of you who don’t know me– I’m an ex-theology scholar, counselor, near death experience survivor and counselor. In chapter 4, PLANTS AND PRIMATES: POSTCARDS FROM THE STONED AGE McKenna touches briefly on monotheism, the Western world (Ya’ll that’s us!) and the ego. One night, as I read in bed, beside my sleeping husband, I found myself murmuring out loud, “Yes. Yes. Yes.” In that moment, if I would have had a highlighter, almost all of pages 62-63 would be highlighted.

McKenna points out that westerners are ego-centered and tend to project their ideals onto this individual, white, male egotistical deity. Interestingly enough, at no point in time does this monotheistic deity have ANY RELATIONSHIP with women. In many ancient myths, there is reference to both the divine feminine and nature.

BUT NOPE. Not here in the States. Ironically, where we are hearing news headlines about reproductive rights, back to back with horrible stories about the state of our ecosystem, and a division in legislation banning PLANTS at the federal and state levels. Hm… just let that sink in.

So before I say something too radical…I’ll let McKenna and Miley Cyrus say it for me…

The monstrous forces of scientific industrialism and global politics that have been born into modern times were conceived at the time of the shattering of the symbiotic relationships with the plants that had bound us to nature from our dim beginnings. This left each human being frightened, guilt-burdened, and alone. Existential man was born… From within the context of an unchecked growth of dominator values and history told from a dominator point of view, we need to turn attention back toward the Archaic way of vision plants and the Goddess.”

Terance Mckenna, Food of the gods

As I married into a fifth generation farming family, I constantly challenge the ideals of patriarchy. Luckily, I live with a man that, whether he knows it or not, understands the divine feminine energy that dwells within our home and our land. Women are creators. How difficult that must be for an egotistical, monotheistic society to cope with. I can’t believe I’m going to do this, but Miley Cyrus literally just talked about this in her interview with Elle Magazine. Yes, the recent issue– ya know the one that she looks like Stevie Nicks on the cover?

Here it is:

Cyrus hops up and begins pacing as she explains that “she” is the most confident version of herself, and that “she/woman is taking back the power. She is here, fierce femme energy.” Her sermon turns current as she conveys how women are the reason for life, “which is a blessing and a curse.” She laments the expectation this puts on the female sex: “We’re expected to keep the planet populated. And when that isn’t a part of our plan or our purpose, there is so much judgment and anger that they try to make and change laws to force it upon you—even if you become pregnant in a violent situation. If you don’t want children, people feel sorry for you, like you’re a cold, heartless bitch who’s not capable of love.”

For the full interview, click here.

That’s it for now. Go buy some plants. Turn off your T.V. Think out loud about what you are grateful for.

X.

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